Two Cows and a Kayak

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly,"I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

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An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

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I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that...


you can't have your kayak and heat it too.