Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: She starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women can't be quiet long enough to build up the required pressure.
disclaimer: these are for all those men not fortunate enough to have a wife like mine.
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